halfway between a tough cookie and a psychobitch

is there such a place between those extremes?

alas, The Prophet always says, "follow the middle path."

i'm not seeing it.

try as i might, one either holds back the tears or cry out loud like a hyena in heat!

whilst calling out the name of your lost ones..that is.

on this return path to God, there must be stillness and i suppose, solitude.

one arrived in this world mostly alone (unless of course u were one half of a twin set or a third of a triplet), are almost always in deep shi* alone and will eventually return back to Him, alone.

(oh yes, i will use the masculine pronoun to refer to the All Mighty, much to the dismay of a great number of feminists out there, only because i need male companionship right now..and a 4 yr old son DOES NOT count.)

call me weak, call me delusional, call me stupid..

but as a tough cookie, i only want BLOOD

and as a psychobitch, i want to go down to GEYLANG..

so on this search for that middle path back to God, I can't help but feel human..

I can't help but feel lonely.

I can't help but feel sad.

I can't help but regret.

I can't help but feel that I need help.

So to you, wonderful lady friends of mine, who would at one point or another, read this post...

humpty dumpty is kicking like a mad duck to put it together again..

but it sure is painful..in a quiet, creepy sort of way.