Random Rainy Day Thoughts

Hey the rain was here juz now. It's 27th Ramadan. My official wedding anniversary. According to the Islamic calendar, we must have been married 11 years. He's not here. I'm not there. We are nowhere near each other...at least, not for me.



The Bedok family convenes today. I will come alone, sans kids, sans maid, sans LAKI.



I will reveal THE NEWS.



For what reason I ask myself? To inform, educate, raise funds? Probably to seek blessings. The prodigal child returns to ask for blessings from estranged family members..not so much physical as it is emotional, spiritual even.

And then this heart longs for the blessings of elderly ones closer to heart..the Boon Lay folks. But Yai's dementia makes it difficult to begin to tell the story. He would probably worry himself sick.

So I guess, I do the mandatory Bedok dance..dance with the skeletons in my closet.

I feel numb except for the thoughts of my close ones.

Trying shoes.

Counting pennies.

Drinking water to wash down the searing cut-chillies in my throat.

The motillum sitting in my car.

The thoughts of KL, Malaysia.

My over-pronation. My knee. My back. My aching heart closed asunder in perfect fortification.

O Lord in Heaven..forgive me for a Ramadan marred with distractions. But I believe You will forgive me. Amin.