ON THE BRINK OF LOSING

This next entry is dedicated to a dear mate who may be on the brink of losing something precious.

ON THE BRINK OF LOSING

Is there really a choice between my Lord and the man whose love resides deep within my heart? My head tells me this is a rhetoric. There is not even a question as to its answer. Darn, it should be plain obvious! Or is it?

How do I tell my bleeding heart to accept the invincible but invisible Lord over this mortal flesh that fits my body and soul like yin to yang? After years of pain and agony over a life lost to love, hurt and anger, now the rainbow after the rain is also fast receeding.

Is this the Lord's cruel answer that there can be no other but Him in my life? As close as my jugular vein?

But what if what I need is mortal love in flesh, in body, in mind and in spirit? Yes, I abide by your omnipresent power, Oh Lord. I have been told to believe that there can be naught but You. But my flesh is weak and my spirit, weaker. I am past broken, more close to disintegration.

If push comes to shove, it would be most likely that I will be led to choose You. But you know Lord, by then, I will be a walking zombie. Waiting for my body to be laid to rest long after its soul has died. It will be a time when only Your Grace can see me through.

On the brink of this losing, You must be true to Your promise that, "Verily with every burden, there will be ease." You must be true to that for I am dying.